The calls for a ban were listened to by politicians – there was an election approaching, and all governments or potential governments are keen to look tough on crime, as it pleases the tabloids. But in this instance, they were wrong.

On May 28, the toxicology tests finally came back; the two dead men had not taken meow meow.

This was reported by the BBC and other news sources, but it didn’t make the Sun’s front page, as the original story had done. The Sun also didn’t report on the inquests into the two men’s deaths, which were held in January this year. They were reported by some media, more particularly the local press, the Scunthorpe Telegraph.

The inquest was told that while the two men had attempted to obtain mephedrone, they had in fact died as a result of drinking alcohol and taking methadone, the heroin substitute, which has a similar name but is a different drug.

None of this is to suggest that mephedrone is a benign substance, but it’s interesting to note when the story of these deaths – which remain as tragic, regardless of how they happened – was seen as a ‘good tale’ and when it was just a footnote. Moral panic over new killer drug? That’s a story. Pair of teenagers killed by methadone? Happens all the time; forget it.

So this story is, at the same time, familiar and unusual. It satisfies readers’ expectations while tapping into their fears. Here’s a drug we don’t know much about, but which is apparently lethal, even though it’s completely legal.

Some teenagers have been misbehaving and have paid with their lives. It could happen to any family. Parents will be worried. Will your teenage children be going out tonight and taking this drug? Will they come home alive?

That’s why it hits home. Fear is the key for this type of story. Fear it could happen to you, or someone you know. That’s the ghost train.

If you get your sole information about the world outside your doorstep from certain tabloids, you might be forgiven for thinking hoodies are going to kill you, drugs are going to kill you, cancer is going to kill you, immigrants are going to take your job, and probably kill you as well (if you don’t die of cancer first).

Put the newspaper down, and the real world doesn’t seem so scary in comparison. It’s a bit of a thrill ride.

Here are two headlines about the same scientific study.

Headline 1: NO PROOF OF MOBILE CANCER RISK, MAJOR STUDY CONCLUDES

Headline 2: LONG CONVERSATIONS ON MOBILE PHONES CAN INCREASE RISK OF CANCER, SUGGESTS 10-YEAR STUDY

I would ask you to guess which headline comes from the BBC report and which from the Daily Mail, but you’re there already. So why does it happen? I think it’s because the scary story is a better story for the Mail. It’s the angle that says this might kill you rather than this might not kill you or this probably won’t kill you.

An up-to-date example is how certain sections of the media, who have talked up the possible health risks of BPA for years, have not adequately reported a major study which concludes it is safe (http://blogs.forbes.com/trevorbutterworth/2011/07/25/majestically-scientific-federal-study-on-bpa-has-stunning-findings-so-why-is-the-media-ignoring-it/).

In one sense, the ghost train is a bit of fun. People are being exposed to their deepest fears, like watching a horror film. But in another, this isn’t advertised as entertainment; we’re told this is news – this is the way it is.

And even if the tabloids generate a false perception of risk, politicians act in a way that aims to please the red-tops; mephedrone is now banned, just as the Sun demanded it should be – and we are left with the consequences of the decision, whether it was justified or not.

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This is an extract from Steven Baxter’s (aka Anton Vowl) new book: Musings of a Monkey (Print / Kindle).

That’s what I am, although it seems so clumsy: what is ‘white British’ anyway and who gets to be that rather than, say, mixed race British? How mixed does your race have to be before you’re mixed race?

Does my gypsy grandmother count as ‘white’, or should that lineage be viewed as ‘mixed race’? I don’t know.

I am usually pink, and I was born in Britain, so there you have it: white British.

I think you’re much less aware of your ethnicity and your heritage if you’re in the majority; you grow up knowing that most people are like you, no matter how you mix at school, or work, or whatever.

Being ‘white British’, if I must call myself that, though, gives me an insight into the kind of articles that we’ve seen splashed over the newspapers yesterday – and may see more of tomorrow – about how ‘white Britons’, people like me, might – that’s might, not will – no longer be in the majority by the time I’m 91 years old.

I don’t know if I’ll really care, if I make it to 91, whether there are more slightly darker faces than mine walking around; or whether I’ll care very much if there are more pink faces belonging to people who didn’t grow up in Britain, either. Maybe that’s just me, but I don’t see what the big fuss is about.

People say it’s a taboo to talk about immigration, but of course that’s not the case. I say it’s a taboo to talk positively of immigration, as if it’s something that isn’t a great deluge to be feared.

And ‘white’ does not equal ‘British’; ‘British’ does not equal ‘white’. If white Britons do get ‘outnumbered’, that might not be a tremendously bad thing. These islands do not belong to whites, the same way that they don’t belong to anyone. White people happen to have lived here since the Ice Age, but a lot of things have changed since then.

Human beings are migratory animals in a lot of ways, and now we have aircraft and all sorts of technological advances to speed up that process; you can’t see a nation state as being composed of a particular ethnic group.

Increasingly, it doesn’t work that way. Britain is more of a cultural than a racial identity, I think, and that identity is more multicultural the more immigration we have – and do you know what, I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all.

These articles do, as ever, come with the same old agenda – the agenda that there are ‘Brits’ and there are others – it’s the them and us thing all over again. I don’t see it that way; I see it as us and us. So there are other races than white coming over to this country and living here? Good for them.

So it might mean that white people – the ‘indigenous population’ so beloved of dog-whistle racists everywhere – are not in the absolute overall majority in fifty or so years’ time? Well, so what? This is where I struggle to find a problem, where I struggle to find the fear.

One of the reasons why I do love living in this country – and I do, by the way – is the way in which it is such a cosmopolitan place. ‘Our’ history and heritage is not under threat. ‘Our’ country is not being taken over.

What makes me angry is when it’s assumed that ‘white Britons’ like me are automatically opposed to all kinds of change; that somehow I should go along with this panic porn about immigration because somehow it’s me who is under threat. Well that’s simply not true. I’m not under threat. I’m intensely relaxed about it all.

If I do make it to 91, and if I am no longer as a pink-skinned person in the majority, I won’t be shedding too many tears. I dare say if I ever have children they may have children with ‘non-white’ partners, or maybe they won’t; but if they do, I’ll be happy. I’m not scared by the scaremongering. My race isn’t under threat. So I refuse to go along with any of this.

Those who worry about the apparent decline of the ‘white Briton’ don’t speak for this white Briton. You don’t speak for me.

—
cross-posted from Enemies of Reason

But no. People – ironically, it’s often the exact kind of people who would be deliberately simplistic about issues like crime, claiming that kids who nick a penny chew from the pick’n'mix are ‘feral’ and so on – like to get all complicated about the reasons why people vote BNP.

First, they blame the lefties. That’s the most important group to blame. People who believe in something other than what the BNP believe in are somehow to blame for the rise in the BNP, because they are not doing what the BNP wants. The logic goes like this: we haven’t given the BNP what they want, therefore they are getting more support. I’d say this: you shouldn’t give the BNP what they want, because on almost every subject ever, they’re as wrong as wrong can be. Whether you give them more or less support because you deny them what they want isn’t really relevant if what they want is completely and utterly discriminatory, unfair, unpleasant, nasty, racist and anti-freedom.

Lefties are to blame somehow, because of the things they’ve done in terms of diversity, human rights and so on. By giving a shit about minorities, they have stoked the fires of the BNP, says the argument. I’d say this: giving a shit about diversity is important, and right, and if you upset people by doing this, then the people you are upsetting are not only idiots but unpleasant idiots. If you positively discriminate in favour of minorities, constantly discriminating against the so-called ‘indigenous population’ then that’s a different matter – but this isn’t happening. There is no ‘indigenous population’ anyway. I don’t go out on my council estate and see mud-painted natives going fishing with a coracle. There’s no such ‘indigenous population’ and the term is one used by the far right – and the Daily Mail – as a dog-whistle to appeal to racists.

Political correctness is also blamed. The PC Brigade – remember them, with the big pink diversity van coming to make you tick a few diversity boxes? – have meant that ‘ordinary’ (white) people have felt ‘disenfranchised’. Again, I’d say no. Not letting people get away with saying nigger, wog and Paki is a good thing. Racism is a bad thing. If someone feels disenfranchised because they’re not allowed to be a racist, then they’re a racist, and if racists feel disenfranchised then that’s because the mainstream parties, quite rightly, are not racist and don’t like racists belonging to them.

Other targets are blamed. Immigration, which has been happening for donkeys’ years now and which is – outside the EU – strictly controlled and more strictly than ever before, is depicted as ‘uncontrolled’ and a ‘mass wave’. Idiots like Christopher Monckton are allowed to say in the national media – unchallenged by Victoria Derbyshire (well obviously) – that two million Muslims have come to Britain since Labour came to power. Benefits are ignored; only the downside is depicted. There is not fair coverage of these issues by newspapers like the Mail. Yet they blame the immigration itself for people being against it, not their one-sided depiction of it.

Moneygrabbing politicians are blamed. The Speaker is blamed. People claiming cash for stuff they shouldn’t claim cash for are blamed. And they are to blame for a general malaise in mainstream politics; they are to blame for anger felt by the public; they are to blame for people looking elsewhere when they come to cast their votes.

But there’s a world of difference between saying “These Labour and Tory politicians are sticking their snouts in the trough” and then going on to make the leap to “I will vote instead for a party that represents views that are vastly removed from the Conservative Party and the Labour Party, which is racist, and which only allows people of a certain ethnicity to belong”. That intellectual gulf is just too wide. This isn’t a protest vote. If people want to vote BNP, it’s not because of disenchantment with the mainstream. You don’t vote for people like that unless you believe in them. And if you believe in them, then there’s no helping you.

Even the right is blamed. People blame the Conservative Party for being too wishy-washy. They say if only the Tories pandered to the more rabid elements that made them so hated and despised by half the country during the 1980s and early 1990s, then things would be better. They ignore the strides made by William Hague (eroded a bit by Michael Howard and the other one, whatever his name was) to try and politely say no thank-you to “Rivers of Blood” types.

But beneath it all is a truth. People may be disgruntled, but a vote for the BNP is not a protest vote. It is a vote for a system that will disenfranchise far more than merely feel disenfranchised right now. It is a vote for hatred and racism. It is a vote against things that simply do not exist, based on lies and prejudice. It is a vote against reason, and truth, and fairness, and liberty. It is a vote for hate. And those people who choose to vote that way know what they’re doing.

They wouldn’t change their minds if only the mainstream moved further to the right. They wouldn’t change their minds if ‘political correctness’ were consigned to the bin tomorrow. They wouldn’t change their minds even if the liberal-left elite running our country, which doesn’t even exist, suddenly existed only in order to disband itself. They won’t change their minds. They are wrong, and they hold wrong views because they’re wrong. And that’s why everyone with any decency must fight against them – left, right, libertarians, socialists, all of us. I don’t care what makes us different, but what unites everyone must be the fight against hatred and the fight against lies. That fight is the fight against the BNP – so let’s get on with it.

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Cross-posted from Enemies of Reason

Your complaint must be logged and investigated under the terms of the BBC’s charter. You can complain about a programme even if it doesn’t directly affect you, and even if you didn’t see it at the time. If it is decided that any guidelines may have been breached there will be a further investigation. Action may be taken against those responsible for the programme/story in question. You can also complain to Ofcom, who have the power of unlimited fines. All this will be backed up by a torrent of media hysteria involving other newspapers and broadcasters, all of whom have a vested financial interest in seeing the BBC’s credibility damaged and their own profits boosted, given that their primary responsibility is to shareholders, not to their readers.

…about something published by the Daily Mail?

Your complaint will be recorded and you might get a letter or email back. If it’s about a story that doesn’t directly involve you, you cannot take the matter further. If it does directly involve you, you can write to the PCC. The Mail can write a letter explaining editorial policy to you. If you aren’t satisfied with that very generous offer, the Mail can write an apology if they deem it necessary. If they don’t, or even if they do and you still want to take it further, and if the PCC – which is chaired by the editor of the Mail – decides the Mail has got it wrong, it could write a ruling that says the newspaper has got it wrong. There is no further sanction or redress, unless the Mail has libelled you, and even then, it’s up to you to prove it has damaged you personally. You can get the case taken on as a conditional fee arrangement, but that’s harder than it sounds, as the big players are only interested in upset celebrities, where there are opportunities for big payouts without the necessity of having to go to court, rather than ordinary people, where it can be argued that the financial damage suffered to their reputation was much less.

So, it’s easy to see why the Mail has taken the moral high ground.

ALCOHOL – benign, harmless substance when consumed by anyone over 45 which is also toxic and dangerous drug when administered to YOUNG PEOPLE or FERAL YOUTH. Should be taxed when drunk by YOUNG PEOPLE but not by others, who are of course responsible and never do anything wrong.

AND GUESS WHO’S PAYING?!??!! – usefull catch-all phrase to describe anything in which the government/state is involved. Should be used at the end of any post as punctuation or a final flourish to a well-argued and wittily brilliant excoriation of NULAB’s injustices and crimes.

ARRESTED – means someone did it.

BBC, THE – Pinko commie bastard scumbags who love liberals and want our children to be gay. Bonus points for saying “I BET YOU WON’T PUBLISH THIS, COMMUNIST BBC!” whenever you submit anything to the HYS messageboard.

BINGE BRITAIN – the sudden liking for alcohol which has happened since 1997. No-one underage ever drank anything before then, but now all of a sudden everyone is drinking, from the age of four upwards, then having a fight afterwards. Anticipated by Hogarth in his famous “Gin Lane under NuLab”.

BIRCH, THE – magical item which restores civic pride and makes all children into better people, simply by thrashing them with it.

BLAIR, CHERIE – bonus points for criticising haircut/size of mouth.

BLAIR, TONY – once-admired leader who embraced PC BRIGADE and LIBERAL FASCISM. Bonus points for use of ‘Bliar’.

BRITISH NATIONAL PARTY – much-admired intelligent band of decent men and women who would be the best thing to happen to our country. I KNOW WHERE I’M VOTING NEXT TIME AND IT’S NOT FOR JOCK MCBOTTLER, HE’S SOLD OUR COUNTRY DOWN THE RIVER!

BROKEN BRITAIN – propensity towards violence and lawlessness never seen in country until Tony Blair was elected. Don’t believe the CRIME STATISTICS!

BROWN, GORDON – please don’t use his correct name. Acceptable names are Jock McBottler, Gordie McHaggis, Tartan McBroon, Jimmy McIrnBru, etc. Must be blamed for everything in the world, eg man attacked by hedgehog in New Zealand.

BUSH, GEORGE W – wise and noble leader of the free world. He’s the only one who can see the truth!

CAMERON, DAVID – the saviour of the world. Will cure cancer with a single touch. A bit left-wing for our tastes obviously, but we’ll cut him some slack until he gets into power and refuses to bring back the birch.

CANNABIS – a drug that kills anyone who takes it straight away.

CLARKSON, JEREMY – wittily hilarious man-of-people who sees through PC BRIGADE and all that nonsense. Classical views on GREEN ISSUES to be agreed with include deriding any environmentalist as a ‘lunatic’.

CONSERVATIVE PARTY – will solve all the nation’s problems when they get into power.

CRIME STATISTICS – keep going down, but I don’t believe that because some bloke in the pub told me that kids are getting let off with a caution for rape and murder nowadays, so there.

CYCLIST – dirty, evil road user who dares to get in the way of cars. A good thing to say about these appalling folk is: “And what about CYCLISTS? All they do is JUMP RED LIGHTS and ride on the PAVEMENT! When will the police crack down on them flouting THE HIGHWAY CODE?!?!? NB cycling is derided no matter if it is a ‘friendly’ person doing it, e.g. DAVID CAMERON. Cf PEDESTRIAN.

DEATH PENALTY – should be brought back for all crimes that make white people feel scared at night, regardless of true nature of crime.

DOLE – is what scroungers get given to feed their eight billion kids, and guess who’s paying?!

ECSTASY – is a drug that kills everyone who takes it straight away.

FACEBOOK – is an incomprehensible evil that lures children into a seedy world of paedophilia, drugs and prostitution.

FATHER – much maligned 50 per cent of parenthood, deliberately targeted by NuLab and Harriet Harperson so that they will become redundant in 50 years’ time. NuLab don’t think we need fathers.

FERAL YOUTH – the correct term for anyone under 25.

GOLLIWOG – harmless teddy for children with no racial connotations whatsoever. Anyone who complains about them is a NULAB PC fascist with ‘no sense of humour’.

GREEN ISSUES – that global warming, it’s all a con, innit? I saw some programme on Channel 4 once, it’s all a myth, nothing’s wrong, keep driving our cars and it’ll all be fine. We can’t affect nature, it’s all going to be fine, anything green is just a STEALTH TAX by NU LAB to kill off the TAX PAYER.

GUARDIAN READERS – wilfully ignorant yoghurt-weaving sandal-clad Islington-dwelling fools who want to strangle our babies and kill everyone, bringing a wave of MULTICULTURALISM and LIBERAL values to our ONCE-GREAT COUNTRY.

HARPERSON, HARRIET – Hilarious alternative for Harriet Harman. Evil witch who hates men and wants to destroy the world through political correctness.

HELL IN A HANDCART – phrase that implies that immigration or liberalism will destroy the bedrock of our society and that doom can only happen in some unspecified time in the future.

IMMIGRATION – secret plot by NU LAB to kill off INDIGENOUS POPULATION by bringing in foreigners, who all smell, are criminals and often terrorists. Every single immigrant is on benefits, and TAXPAYER must foot bill.

INDIGENOUS POPULATION – code for ‘white’.

ISLAM – terrorists who want to kill us. Bonus points for using ‘religion of peace – I don’t think so?!’ ironically after a terrorist attack, whether Muslims were involved in it or not.

IT NEVER DID ME ANY HARM – can be used for bullying, beating, torture, any kind of child abuse basically.

I WON’T BE ALLOWED TO SAY THIS – then say it. To give the impression that the PC BRIGADE or communist-infiltrated BBC are somehow denying free speech to the commenter.

JUDGES – Sopping-wet pinko fools who let everyone off crimes and don’t give anyone life in prison for stealing a penny bun from a market stall, so are therefore a ‘soft-touch’ thanks to NU LAB and THE PC BRIGADE.

KILLING – understandable if it’s shooting a Brazilian electrician six times in the head; understandable if you’re a speeding driver killing a pedestrian; perfectly understandable if you’re one of OUR BOYS shooting a brown person.

KNIFE CRIME EPIDEMIC – London-based killings and stabbings in 2008 which, despite being less prevalent than in 2007, are now more prevalent. Pay particular attention to ethnicity of offenders when black, but not when white.

LABOUR WILL TAX IT – useful phrase for any story about anything ever. E.g. rollerskating labrador dog called Simon wins competition. Why not chip in with a hilarious ‘LABOUR WILL TAX IT!!!!!’

LIBERALS – scummish, nasty, vile, putrid, disgusting, hateful, fascistic, unpleasant, gay, dirty, disgraceful load of bastards who hate everyone and want everyone to suffer and be miserable, except lesbian one-armed black immigrants. Bonus points for saying “It’d be all right if I was one of them, then the LIBERALS would give me everything I want!”

LITTLEJOHN, RICHARD – hilariously funny, better-than-Proust chronicler of HELL-IN-A-HANDCART PC-GONE-MAD NU LAB bonkers YOU COULDN’T MAKE IT UP Britain.

LOCKED UP – what any criminal or mentally ill person should be. Bonus points for ‘and throw away the key!’

MENTAL ILLNESS – deluded nonsense from milksop LIBERALS who refuse to pull socks up and get on with life as IT NEVER DID ME ANY HARM. Best if all people with such delusions are LOCKED UP to keep them away from NORMAL PEOPLE.

MIDDLE CLASSES – good, kind-hearted, lovely folk who are the best people in the world, especially the white ones, yet who are constantly under attack from STEALTH TAXES and THE PC BRIGADE.

MULTICULTURALISM – must be described as ‘failed experiment’ (cf SOCIALISM) and be portrayed as reason for all problems everywhere, particularly at times when non-whites have committed crimes.

MUSLIMS – see ISLAM. There are no Muslims other than rabid jihadist murderers – the actions of one extremist Muslim mean, naturally, that every other individual from the same faith is exactly the same as this person.

NATIONAL SERVICE – should be compulsory for everyone younger than me. Never did me any harm! Or the Krays.

NEW LABOUR – A bunch of Stalinist scum who are deliberately killing our children. Please use the correct term ‘NuLab’.

NORMAL PEOPLE – anyone with rabidly right-wing views, cf THE SILENT MAJORITY.

NU LAB – is the correct term for ‘New Labour’. Can be used as in phrases such as ‘Welcome to NuLab Britain, great here isn’t it? Thanks a lot Gordie McSporranbotherer!’

OBAMA – Use ‘Osama’, or if preferred, ‘Hussein’, to emphasise darkness of skin and therefore evil Islamist tendencies.

ONCE-GREAT COUNTRY – Britain. Used to imply that starving Indians to death and raping other countries was actually the thing we should be proudest of as a nation.

OUR BOYS – correct term for armed forces.

PARASITE – anyone who claims benefits, or any immigrant even if they claim no benefits at all.

PC BRIGADE, THE – Mysterious A-teamesque band of malfaisants who deliberately try to upset white, middle-class heterosexual men by making everyone else have better opportunities as them. Ignore the murderous savages of Islam by their well-intentioned but ultimately evil ‘multiculturalism’. Allow murdering chldren to stay in luxury 5-star leisure camps at taxpayer’s expense rather than torturing them in barrels of brine, as would be right and proper.

PC GONE MAD – anything which is slightly sensitive towards other people’s cultural traditions or values. Anyone who ever tries to think about other people’s feelings is PC GONE MAD and therefore a LIBERAL idiot. See also MULTICULTURALISM.

PEDESTRIAN – foul-smelling creatures who get in the way of cars. Cf CYCLIST

PHILLIPS, MELANIE – world’s greatest intellect, a towering lone voice fighting against the terror of MUSLIMS, ISLAM and left-wing idiot GEORGE W BUSH.

POLES – swan-eating miscreants who undercut our Traditional British Plumbers and bring over families of ten trillion children to scrounge off our benefits system… and guess who’s paying?!?!

POWELL, ENOCH – visionary titan of brilliance who ‘saw it all coming’ and first realised the dangers of MULTICULTURALISM’s failed experiment as well as the hell of SOCIALISM.

QUEEN, THE – Her Majesty. Wonderful ruler of Empire. Has regrettably produced rubbish children who will wreck our glittering monarchy.

RANDOM QUOTE FROM SOMEONE WHO SOUNDS AUTHORITATIVE – Try ‘But wasn’t it Marx himself who said that workers should be boiled alive in tramp sick?’ or ‘But wasn’t it Plato who said that immigration was the worst thing ever?’

RICH, THE – much misunderstood, wonderful wealth generators who are responsible entirely for economic success, but never responsible for economic problems. Kind, gentle, philanthropic people who don’t deserve to be taxed at all.

SCUM – anyone who isn’t a white, middle-class English Anglo-Saxon taxpayer. And quite a few who are. Cf VERMIN.

SILENT MAJORITY – millions and millions of people who all agree with rabidly right-wing views but don’t ever have the courage to express them for fear of upsetting the PC BRIGADE and LIBERALS.

SMOKING – harmless pastime enjoyed by dignified people who are constantly under attack from PC do-gooders.

SOCIALISM – despicable ‘failed experiment’ (cf MULTICULTURALISM) which makes everyone miserable. The politics of NULAB, regardless of tax breaks for the rich, tax increases for the poor, etc.

STEALTH TAX – any fine for anything ever, eg speeding ticket, bin being too full. Easily avoided by anyone other than the wilfully stupid, yet still supposedly aimed at MIDDLE CLASSES rather than anyone else, reason never explained.

TAXPAYER – should be prefixed with ‘already overburdened’. Mythical chap who pays for immigration, young people, single mums etc and is always on the verge of ‘getting fed up about it’.

UNIONS – appalling 1970s rapists of industry who brought the country to its knees and whose sole purpose in life is to wreck Great Britain. Bonus points for ‘Striking won’t do you any good, you’ve got gold plated pensions?! What about me, I don’t have a union, I just get on with my job and I love my 0.1 per cent pay rise?!’

VERMIN – handy catch-all phrase which doesn’t quite count as downright abuse, so can easily be used to describe gypsies, immigrants or anyone you might disagree with. Cf SCUM.

VIOLENCE – unpleasantness committed by YOUNG PEOPLE and FERAL YOUTH thanks to BINGE BRITAIN. Perfectly acceptable when committed by OUR BOYS in Afghanistan/Iraq.

WINTER – it gets cold, yet this can be seen of evidence that climate change isn’t happening. Try using “It’s snowing outside my window, ARE YOU WATCHING MR GORE?!!?!”

X-RATED – things that only adults over 75 should be allowed to see, eg a glimpse of a lady’s ankle.

YOBS – see FERAL YOUTH. Alternatively use “scrotes” for anyone under 25 who happens to be standing outside a shop.

YOU COULDN’T MAKE IT UP – catch-all Littlejohnian phrase for things which are, as it turns out, frequently actually made up.

YOUNG PEOPLE – See FERAL YOUTH. Are responsible for all crime everywhere ever. Listen to evil music that makes them mad and kill grannies. Should have been disciplined more properly with THE BIRCH and then they wouldn’t have turned out this way. But sadly THE PC BRIGADE is in charge of our education and let them off everything.

ZERO TOLERANCE – would solve everything. All children found on streets killed would mean no more yobs bothering our grannies. Being flayed alive for theft would stop all thefts instantly. But will this Government do anything? No they won’t!

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First posted on Enemies of Reason