More of your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered


by Guest    
2:00 pm - August 7th 2012

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contribution by RedPesto

For all the fun and games of London 2012, it’s clear that for some left-wingers it is also an event where their politics and loyalties are stretched to the very limit.

Four years of campaigning, protesting and relentless blogging regimes have led to this moment. Yet they still need that last-minute advice as they enter the home straight of the second week of the Games.

LibCon has specially commissioned its very own agony aunt, Ms Olympia, to help answer all those tricky Olympic questions.

Dear Ms Olympia – My friends really enjoyed the opening ceremony and the lighting of the Olympic flame, but I insisted on explaining how it contributed to global warming, which they all deny exists. Am I turning into Buzz Killington? Yours, Theresa Green.

Dear Theresa – Whilst global warming is indeed a major issue, the amount of hot air generated by the media and politicans about the Olympics is a far greater worry. As for your denialist friends, maybe they’ll finally get the message when the Winter Olympics is permanently cancelled and Chancellor George Osborne can no longer go skiing in Klosters.

Dear Ms Olympia – I keep hearing that this is the first Games in which every participating country – even Saudi Arabia! – is sending a female athlete. Should I be celebrating? Yours, Tess Tosterone.

Dear Tess – It is briliant that the Saudis have sent their first ever female Olympic competitor. However, there are no women in the teams from either Barbados or Nauru.

A crack squad of feminist campaigners has flown out specially to both countries to spend two (or was it three? or four?) weeks protesting on the sunny beaches to raise awareness of this disgraceful misogynist oversight (‘Having a lovely time fighting the patriarchy. Wish you were here. Love, L xxx’). On the other hand, Bhutan didn’t send any men at all, which must make it the most feminist nation competing in the Games. You go, Bhutan girls!

Dear Olympia – Is ‘Team GB’ the politically correct way to refer to the British Olympic team, or is it an artifical construct designed to disguise Great Britain’s vicious imperial past? Yours, Dr Winston Smith (Reader in History, Holby Metropolitan University: fees only £8,999 a year!).

Dear Winston – Your confusion is understandable, given that this country is refered to as ‘Great Britain and Northern Ireland’, ‘the United Kingdom’ or ‘Britain’, as well as ‘Airstip One’ by those who’ve read too much Orwell, the ‘The 51st State’ by those who read too much John Pilger, and even England’ by American tourists and Tory MPs. ‘Team GB’ is perfectly acceptable if you are a competing athlete; otherwise you sound like a football fan that talks about ‘we’ and ‘us’ when referring to the team he (or she) supports. Stick to ‘Britain’/'British’ to keep things simpler, or ‘the Brits’ if you’re trying to be really matey (or flogging copies of the Socialist Worker).

Women’s boxing – yes or no? Yours, Judi Puncheon

Dear Judi – If women are to compete in all the same sports as the men, I’m afraid it does mean they will also have to get into a ring and knock seven bells out of each other for the first time at the Olympics. On the other hand, it’s their choice and lots of women are interested in taking up boxing.

Team GB – sorry, Britain (see above) – even has a chance of a medal or two. So my answer is ‘yes’, whether in response to either sexist men or to squeamish feminists. That said, when Tony Blair was asked this question by the Radio Times, he answered: ‘We’ve got men’s boxing, so why not?’ You may choose to take the opposite view to a neo-conservative war criminal accordingly.

Dear Miss Olympia – ‘Those judo contestants – and I realise this will probably sound appallingly sexist – I couldn’t help wondering about their soft limbs battered black and blue with bruises.’ Yours, Andrew M Brown.

Dear Mr Brown – Honestly – ‘soft limbs’ indeed! You seem to be confusing an Olympic contact sport with 50 Shades of Grey (where any bruises would be consensual in any case). I suggest you lie down in a dark room with some Jane Austen and avoid any more coverage of the women’s events at the Olympic Games, especially the weightlifting, taekwondo and the boxing (see above). And yes, it is appallingly sexist – I’m Ms Olympia, thanks very much – but it turns out your letter was actually addressed to the Daily Telegraph.

Should I boo Israeli comepetitors to show solidarity with the Palestinians? Yours, Ian T. Fada

Dear Ian – Sunny’s advised me to steer well clear of this one. Sorry.

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Reader comments


1. john b

Haha, nice. That Andrew M Brown piece was one of the creepiest things I’ve read, and I’ve read a lot of creepy things.

2. X

” As for your denialist friends ”

Cracks me up every time . . .

3. Jim Jepps

Ah, this is great – keep um coming!

4. the a&e charge nurse

Dear Ms Olympia – I feel good each time team GB win a medal – is this just my inner national socialist trying to get out?

5. Dan Factor

On an Olympic note as a ardent football fanatic I’m getting sick to the back teeth of this “Our Olympic athletes show footballers to be overpaid spawn of the devil” stuff that’s going round the internet and being crowed about in the tabloid press.
I think it’s mainly due to the fact that most of the athletes are middle class and therefore are viewed as a better standard of people than working class footballers.


Reactions: Twitter, blogs
  1. Matthew Kerr

    All your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered! http://t.co/uztj4qFE

  2. Rikbut

    All your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered! http://t.co/uztj4qFE

  3. mickey smith

    All your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered! http://t.co/uztj4qFE

  4. Emily Bishop

    All your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered! http://t.co/uztj4qFE

  5. Angie Pedley

    All your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered! http://t.co/uztj4qFE

  6. Neil Turner

    All your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered! http://t.co/uztj4qFE

  7. Philip Lickley

    All your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered! http://t.co/uztj4qFE

  8. Rose Newman-Thompson

    All your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered! http://t.co/uztj4qFE

  9. Safeera Laher

    All your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered! http://t.co/uztj4qFE

  10. rupert twat murdoch

    All your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered! http://t.co/uztj4qFE

  11. david williams

    Very good..worth reading http://t.co/7THbEOSj
    C/o @sunny_hundal

  12. Mark Raven

    More of your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/c8DPvUEF via @libcon

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    [...] More of your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered [...]

  14. Lucia Masundire

    More of your lefty hand-wringing Olympics dilemmas answered http://t.co/8wieu3oF





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