St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof


8:38 pm - November 16th 2011

by Newswire    


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Over the last few days and weeks you may have seen this notice going around on Twitter and Facebook.

You may have even chuckled at the antics of the boys from St Andrews. Apparently it was posted to the boy’s toilets.

Alas! It turns out to be a fake.

An FOI request to the university asked whether the notice was genuine.

This was their brilliant response:

Thank you for your FoI Request re “Masturbation Notice”.

The notice to which you refer is not an official university notice. It was a student prank, and regrettably not even an original prank. The notice appears to be a copycat issue of a similar text hich appeared recently at Durham and Lancaster universities and a number of universities in the States. A quick check on Google should give you more information about these incidents should you require it.

A strong clue that the notice is fake is the line “Please go home and masturbate if you are bored.” As a matter of policy, the University would never encourage students to go home during term time.

I understand that two copies of the notice were attached, with chewing gum, to doors of the male toilets in the University of St Andrews Main Library on or about the afternoon of Sunday November 3^th 2011. The notices were removed by Library staff shortly afterwards.

Far from having a policy on masturbation or outlawing the practice, as the bogus notice alleged, the University encourages the study of it, academically at least. Among the titles in the University ibrary is “Solitary Sex : A Cultural History of Masturbation” by Thomas Walter Laqueur, pub Zone Books, New York, 2003.

Well, at least we know they have a healthy attitude to masturbation.

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Reader comments


“Liberal Conspiracy is the UK’s most popular left-of-centre politics blog. On slow news days we also regurgitate apolitical, inane crap.”

What next, copying Daily Mash articles?

2. Christopher Heward

“Over the last few days and weeks” – it was dated 6 days prior to this article – unlikely to have seen it weeks ago, although the FOI says 3rd November – maybe it had a fake date too, which would have made it a tad obvious!!

The opening paragraphs of Stephen Greenblatt’s review of Thomas Laqueur’s Solitary Sex are great fun.

4. Chaise Guevara

@ 1

True dat, but on the good side, this is the first decent article title I’ve seen on LC in a month of Sundays,

God, I didn’t realise some of our readers were such po-faced whiners. Once you take out a subscription to pay for this site then I might pay some attention.
AFAIK – the FOI was posted today

1 – Nothing wrong with Daily Mash articles. They rip it out of everyone.

I think some of you commenters need to lighten up a little on this one & mebbe pay attention to some of the advice contained in that health & safety notice.

Yeah these notices are nothing new. Something similar was posted in my halls of residence in Hull back in 2006(ish) about people masturbating in the showers, and even then I’d heard of it being done at other universities. Wouldn’t surprise me if it’s been going even longer than that – students always love a good wanking joke.

*Fuck me* 600 years of St Andr…ah, maybe an inappropriate reaction.

Some of my pals were tempted to take the notice at face value; after all, as they explained, not a few of St Andrews’ students are wa… [yes, we get the picture — ed].


Reactions: Twitter, blogs
  1. Jason

    Dryly amusing response fm St Andrew's to "masturbation notice" inquiries http://t.co/zB7A2m93 (h/t @sunny_hundal)

  2. Lorraine Ash

    Dryly amusing response fm St Andrew's to "masturbation notice" inquiries http://t.co/zB7A2m93 (h/t @sunny_hundal)

  3. Spir.Sotiropoulou

    St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/Fn8n2HA3 via @libcon

  4. Steve Parks

    Dryly amusing response fm St Andrew's to "masturbation notice" inquiries http://t.co/zB7A2m93 (h/t @sunny_hundal)

  5. ahxcjb

    Gutted that the St. Andrews student notice on masturbation was a spoof. Funny FOI response tho http://t.co/cMPeAvDH

  6. D. Steven White

    Gartner Says Sales of Mobile Devices Grew 5.6 Percent in Third Quarter of 2011; Smartphone Sales Increased 42 Percent – http://t.co/jf7EGQaq

  7. EroticToyWarehouse

    St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/AU3n8qzl

  8. Saskia Bosch van Ros

    Geestig “@tobyharnden: Dryly amusing response fm St Andrew's to "masturbation notice" inquiries http://t.co/89glmiRC (h/t @sunny_hundal)”

  9. Graham Pointer

    Dryly amusing response fm St Andrew's to "masturbation notice" inquiries http://t.co/zB7A2m93 (h/t @sunny_hundal)

  10. The Small Places

    MT @sunny_hundal "….Funny FOI response tho http://t.co/TdFCkWkZ " … @TheSmallPlaces

  11. John Park

    Exactly what kind of books do they have in their library ? St. Andrews masturbation notice shooting blanks http://t.co/dSANqtqv via @zite

  12. Stephen Newton

    Gutted that the St. Andrews student notice on masturbation was a spoof. Funny FOI response tho http://t.co/cMPeAvDH

  13. Rachael

    St Andrews response to the spoof masturbation notice is brilliant: http://t.co/vVaC2bKT via @libcon

  14. Neutron Decay

    St Andrews response to the spoof masturbation notice is brilliant: http://t.co/vVaC2bKT via @libcon

  15. James

    @BetaRayBill_Eyo oh come on now Eyo… http://t.co/F2r17X6c

  16. Rustydunce

    St. Andrews masturbation notice was shooting blanks http://t.co/NRV7b741

  17. Donald Edwards

    @jaxies http://t.co/hfVG9StG very amusing response..

  18. Stephen Carter

    Go home and Study then St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof http://t.co/bbwO4HvW

  19. Heidi Blanton

    St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof http://t.co/o7DkXLoK <- seems it was a prank… but still think not beyond the realms of truth.

  20. Tonmoy Chowdhury

    @tarunno @NSakib_ http://t.co/a2jAxNOW

  21. Zoe Stephenson

    http://t.co/KbyunSur hahaha

  22. Robert David Knight

    Fine! Have a wank if you like! http://t.co/eaCBPvxh

  23. turbyfurby

    Fine! Have a wank if you like! http://t.co/eaCBPvxh

  24. Phil Oddy

    reading this: St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof http://t.co/GO5gqEgf

  25. "Prohibido Masturbarse" era falso [ING]

    […] "CRITEO-300×250", 300, 250); 1 meneos "Prohibido Masturbarse" era falso [ING]   liberalconspiracy.org/2011/11/16/st-andrews-masturbation-…  por Kobalsky hace […]

  26. A. Spallanzani

    St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/incrakyu via @libcon

  27. Anna Rzepczynski

    @cwbearman @DingosBrother @officialHaswell @MarkTeasdale9 @NufcRyton @officialpapers Seen it all before http://t.co/vTwlY4Qz

  28. Anna Rzepczynski

    @Jonisageek Seen it all before http://t.co/iBFd9LoF…

  29. ?????? ????

    ??? ?? ??????????? ???????? ???? ??? ???? Masturbation ????? http://t.co/i7tRwUWv

  30. Elizabeth Speller

    St. Andrews masturbation notice was shooting blanks http://t.co/NRV7b741

  31. Lloyd Shepherd

    St. Andrews masturbation notice was shooting blanks http://t.co/NRV7b741

  32. Iman Hammad

    St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/J5sFdVZr via @libcon

  33. Dave Naylor

    @CarrieFFisher My deepest thoughts are that it's a fake: http://t.co/KtM20vHb

  34. Alex Chase

    @awhitelie @hotdogsladies except it was. And the library's official response was almost the funniest thing about it. http://t.co/629oyugI

  35. mickey

    @arichatt @bobdealer http://t.co/28dMiqpQ

  36. ?????/????

    St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/k6O8LAsd ??

  37. L

    @nealio82 take it you've seen this? http://t.co/Fj2uPT1P 😛

  38. Gaz Steven

    @mrgarethbrooks. : St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/qfA1NcFJ The Uni's reply is awesome

  39. Gareth Brooks

    “@iamgazs @mrgarethbrooks St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/dQO4KuxR The Uni's reply is awesome”

  40. darren adams

    “@iamgazs @mrgarethbrooks St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/dQO4KuxR The Uni's reply is awesome”

  41. wesley powell

    “@iamgazs @mrgarethbrooks St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/dQO4KuxR The Uni's reply is awesome”

  42. Steven J. Gibbons

    @ingerhege Takk for dette! Det er visst ikke ekte – men universitetets svar i strålende! http://t.co/ZrtUuXfb

  43. Kinyanjui Kamau

    St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/2uovwSmZ via @libcon

  44. Guillermo Rincón

    No se masturben en el baño de la biblioteca. Ok al parecer es una broma. Lo mejor, la respuesta de la Universidad http://t.co/emNkvxOJ

  45. acap

    dear tweetes…tgk ni http://t.co/jR1mlXPQ ..clearly org nk fitnak kami (USM).. tlg hentikan FITNAH ini 🙁

  46. Kuih Koci MakLong

    Masturbators RT @nasisejuk: dear tweetes…tgk ni http://t.co/SufyJfzO ..clearly org nk fitnak kami (USM).. tlg hentikan FITNAH ini 🙁

  47. acap

    dear tweetes…tgk ni http://t.co/jR1mlXPQ … ..clearly org nk fitnah kami (USM).. tlg hentikan FITNAH ini 🙁

  48. Nadiatul Nabila :)

    dear tweetes…tgk ni http://t.co/jR1mlXPQ ..clearly org nk fitnak kami (USM).. tlg hentikan FITNAH ini 🙁

  49. Akma Abu Bakar

    dear tweetes…tgk ni http://t.co/jR1mlXPQ ..clearly org nk fitnak kami (USM).. tlg hentikan FITNAH ini 🙁





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