St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof
Over the last few days and weeks you may have seen this notice going around on Twitter and Facebook.
You may have even chuckled at the antics of the boys from St Andrews. Apparently it was posted to the boy’s toilets.

Alas! It turns out to be a fake.
An FOI request to the university asked whether the notice was genuine.
This was their brilliant response:
Thank you for your FoI Request re “Masturbation Notice”.
The notice to which you refer is not an official university notice. It was a student prank, and regrettably not even an original prank. The notice appears to be a copycat issue of a similar text hich appeared recently at Durham and Lancaster universities and a number of universities in the States. A quick check on Google should give you more information about these incidents should you require it.
A strong clue that the notice is fake is the line “Please go home and masturbate if you are bored.” As a matter of policy, the University would never encourage students to go home during term time.
I understand that two copies of the notice were attached, with chewing gum, to doors of the male toilets in the University of St Andrews Main Library on or about the afternoon of Sunday November 3^th 2011. The notices were removed by Library staff shortly afterwards.
Far from having a policy on masturbation or outlawing the practice, as the bogus notice alleged, the University encourages the study of it, academically at least. Among the titles in the University ibrary is “Solitary Sex : A Cultural History of Masturbation” by Thomas Walter Laqueur, pub Zone Books, New York, 2003.
Well, at least we know they have a healthy attitude to masturbation.
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Reader comments
“Liberal Conspiracy is the UK’s most popular left-of-centre politics blog. On slow news days we also regurgitate apolitical, inane crap.”
What next, copying Daily Mash articles?
“Over the last few days and weeks” – it was dated 6 days prior to this article – unlikely to have seen it weeks ago, although the FOI says 3rd November – maybe it had a fake date too, which would have made it a tad obvious!!
The opening paragraphs of Stephen Greenblatt’s review of Thomas Laqueur’s Solitary Sex are great fun.
@ 1
True dat, but on the good side, this is the first decent article title I’ve seen on LC in a month of Sundays,
God, I didn’t realise some of our readers were such po-faced whiners. Once you take out a subscription to pay for this site then I might pay some attention.
AFAIK – the FOI was posted today
1 – Nothing wrong with Daily Mash articles. They rip it out of everyone.
I think some of you commenters need to lighten up a little on this one & mebbe pay attention to some of the advice contained in that health & safety notice.
Yeah these notices are nothing new. Something similar was posted in my halls of residence in Hull back in 2006(ish) about people masturbating in the showers, and even then I’d heard of it being done at other universities. Wouldn’t surprise me if it’s been going even longer than that – students always love a good wanking joke.
*Fuck me* 600 years of St Andr…ah, maybe an inappropriate reaction.
Some of my pals were tempted to take the notice at face value; after all, as they explained, not a few of St Andrews’ students are wa… [yes, we get the picture -- ed].
Reactions: Twitter, blogs
- Jason
Dryly amusing response fm St Andrew's to "masturbation notice" inquiries http://t.co/zB7A2m93 (h/t @sunny_hundal)
- Lorraine Ash
Dryly amusing response fm St Andrew's to "masturbation notice" inquiries http://t.co/zB7A2m93 (h/t @sunny_hundal)
- Spir.Sotiropoulou
St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/Fn8n2HA3 via @libcon
- Steve Parks
Dryly amusing response fm St Andrew's to "masturbation notice" inquiries http://t.co/zB7A2m93 (h/t @sunny_hundal)
- ahxcjb
Gutted that the St. Andrews student notice on masturbation was a spoof. Funny FOI response tho http://t.co/cMPeAvDH
- D. Steven White
Gartner Says Sales of Mobile Devices Grew 5.6 Percent in Third Quarter of 2011; Smartphone Sales Increased 42 Percent – http://t.co/jf7EGQaq
- EroticToyWarehouse
St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/AU3n8qzl
- Saskia Bosch van Ros
Geestig “@tobyharnden: Dryly amusing response fm St Andrew's to "masturbation notice" inquiries http://t.co/89glmiRC (h/t @sunny_hundal)”
- Graham Pointer
Dryly amusing response fm St Andrew's to "masturbation notice" inquiries http://t.co/zB7A2m93 (h/t @sunny_hundal)
- The Small Places
MT @sunny_hundal "….Funny FOI response tho http://t.co/TdFCkWkZ " … @TheSmallPlaces
- John Park
Exactly what kind of books do they have in their library ? St. Andrews masturbation notice shooting blanks http://t.co/dSANqtqv via @zite
- Stephen Newton
Gutted that the St. Andrews student notice on masturbation was a spoof. Funny FOI response tho http://t.co/cMPeAvDH
- Rachael
St Andrews response to the spoof masturbation notice is brilliant: http://t.co/vVaC2bKT via @libcon
- Neutron Decay
St Andrews response to the spoof masturbation notice is brilliant: http://t.co/vVaC2bKT via @libcon
- James
@BetaRayBill_Eyo oh come on now Eyo… http://t.co/F2r17X6c
- Rustydunce
St. Andrews masturbation notice was shooting blanks http://t.co/NRV7b741
- Donald Edwards
@jaxies http://t.co/hfVG9StG very amusing response..
- Stephen Carter
Go home and Study then St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof http://t.co/bbwO4HvW
- Heidi Blanton
St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof http://t.co/o7DkXLoK <- seems it was a prank… but still think not beyond the realms of truth.
- Tonmoy Chowdhury
@tarunno @NSakib_ http://t.co/a2jAxNOW
- Zoe Stephenson
http://t.co/KbyunSur hahaha
- Robert David Knight
Fine! Have a wank if you like! http://t.co/eaCBPvxh
- turbyfurby
Fine! Have a wank if you like! http://t.co/eaCBPvxh
- Phil Oddy
reading this: St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof http://t.co/GO5gqEgf
- "Prohibido Masturbarse" era falso [ING]
[...] "CRITEO-300×250", 300, 250); 1 meneos "Prohibido Masturbarse" era falso [ING] liberalconspiracy.org/2011/11/16/st-andrews-masturbation-… por Kobalsky hace [...]
- A. Spallanzani
St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/incrakyu via @libcon
- Anna Rzepczynski
@cwbearman @DingosBrother @officialHaswell @MarkTeasdale9 @NufcRyton @officialpapers Seen it all before http://t.co/vTwlY4Qz
- Anna Rzepczynski
@Jonisageek Seen it all before http://t.co/iBFd9LoF…
- ?????? ????
??? ?? ??????????? ???????? ???? ??? ???? Masturbation ????? http://t.co/i7tRwUWv
- Elizabeth Speller
St. Andrews masturbation notice was shooting blanks http://t.co/NRV7b741
- Lloyd Shepherd
St. Andrews masturbation notice was shooting blanks http://t.co/NRV7b741
- Iman Hammad
St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/J5sFdVZr via @libcon
- Dave Naylor
@CarrieFFisher My deepest thoughts are that it's a fake: http://t.co/KtM20vHb
- Alex Chase
@awhitelie @hotdogsladies except it was. And the library's official response was almost the funniest thing about it. http://t.co/629oyugI
- mickey
@arichatt @bobdealer http://t.co/28dMiqpQ
- ?????/????
St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/k6O8LAsd ??
- L
@nealio82 take it you've seen this? http://t.co/Fj2uPT1P
- Gaz Steven
@mrgarethbrooks. : St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/qfA1NcFJ The Uni's reply is awesome
- Gareth Brooks
“@iamgazs @mrgarethbrooks St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/dQO4KuxR The Uni's reply is awesome”
- darren adams
“@iamgazs @mrgarethbrooks St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/dQO4KuxR The Uni's reply is awesome”
- wesley powell
“@iamgazs @mrgarethbrooks St. Andrews notice on masturbation a spoof | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/dQO4KuxR The Uni's reply is awesome”
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