Govt to extend length of time employers can treat workers like shit
contribution by Spacey
Chancellor George Osborne is to announce plans to extend the length of time that employers can treat workers like shit in a bid to help employers who like treating Workers like shit.
He is expected to reveal details to a baying mob at the Conservative party conference on Sunday.
Mr Osborne told the Sun: “We talk a lot about trade union rights – but what about the right of the unemployed person to be given a shot at being treated like worthless scum in the workplace and not just the Job Centre?
“After all if they don’t like it there’s a queue of people lining up to be abused – and workers should never forget that”
By reducing the risk of tribunals for unfair dismissals the government hopes bosses will feel more confident about sacking people just because they can.
“This is very welcome news,” said CBI director general John Cridland.
“Up until now employers actually had to have a reason to sack someone. Now bosses will be able to behave like complete arseholes for a whole 24 months without having the stress of ungrateful troublemakers complaining”
“The business sector have been donating vast amounts of cash to the government to persuade them do everything it can to do what we tell them.”
“It’s good to see that finally paying off.”
—
This is a satirical article. Spacey writes more regularly for the spoof news site Newsthump.
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Reader comments
“!This is a satirical article.”
How can you tell? It seems much like everything else on here.
@1 – Yes, if you’re a Tory. There’s a reason they don’t count as British in my book, since you don’t understand sarcasm.
Note: Above is sarcastic.
Joe – That’s because with govt policy, the difference between satire and reality is becoming increasingly blurred. 
SH@3:
I think it’s called “The Kissinger Effect”:
“Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.” (Tom Lehrer)
Follow the money!
Who funs the tory party? The same corporate bastards who demand the right to treat their workers like shit.
But of course we only concern ourselves with the funding of Trade Unions because the tories are not remotely influenced by the money they receive. Or so they would like you to believe. Just in the same way the tories never put people in the House of Lords who gives money to the tory party. (Snigger.)
Tories always lie. They never stop lying.
Just had a look, can’t find a single piece of coalition significant legislation on employment law which makes it harder or easier to sack people. No real changes at all since Labour got booted out.
You really are liars, aren’t you?
Comrade Sally seems to think its actually real. She sounds similarly stupid when foaming at the mouth about deporting Jews to Texas. Odds are she worked in local government 
“Mr Osborne told the Sun: “We talk a lot about trade union rights – but what about the right of the unemployed person to be given a shot at being treated like worthless scum in the workplace and not just the Job Centre?”
Have you noticed how our corporate masters always pretend they are taking our rights away for the benefit of the poor? It is like when they demand more tax cuts for themselves, and hide behind how a small tax cut will help the poor..
They have not got the decency to admit that they want more power to screw us over. This is the real class warfare we here so much about.
As he’s announcing the 2yr rule at conference doesn’t that imply that the Lib Dems have already rolled over, what’s 1 more sellout among friends
Is spacey a really, really drunk, I mean waking up on Mimas drunk JohnB?
@ 10
Jesus Christ, was that a Red Dwarf novelization reference?
@11 Yes, yes it was but that’s nothing. Over on Tim W’s blog I’ve worked in a Princess Bride reference.
You have it on the head Spacey.
Basically when the Tories come in they lengthen the period when an employee can claim for unfair dismissal, when Labour comes in they shorten it. It’s instructive to not that when the right was first created (by the Wilson government) it was contemplated that the period would be reduced to 6 months. Sadly that’s never happened.
@14 – More importantly, some things (like not paying wages for 2 periods, i.e. a clear indication that they won’t pay) should ALWAYS be unfair dismissal, regardless of how long someone’s worked there.
Admittedly I’m biased, since two separate employers in this country have now done this to me, and I moved for both…
(And I needed to file for a tribunal before I was paid *at all* in either case, one paid in full the next day and the other paid up when ACAS settled things…although they never did provide the paperwork! If I had to the same with an up-front fee I’d take it to the full tribunal because I’m not about to get anything but a costs order…demanding a full written apology and costs will do nicely for the conciliation)
Reactions: Twitter, blogs
- Ellie Cumbo
Yer sacked. Why? Coz I don't like your fucking face. Now two years before you can do anything about this legally. http://t.co/sAxcwqCb
- Paul Taroni
'Government to extend length of time employers can get away with treating workers like shit' http://t.co/feldS2O4
- Ryan D
Yer sacked. Why? Coz I don't like your fucking face. Now two years before you can do anything about this legally. http://t.co/sAxcwqCb
- Keira Evans-Determan
Govt to extend length of time employers can get away with treating workers like shit (Liberal Conspiracy): contr… http://t.co/AiY1RUbW
- Simon Blanchard
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- Phil McDuff
Link: Govt to extend length of time employers can treat workers like shit http://j.mp/qHYJmB
- Megan Cooke
http://t.co/zGA1YeeK Gov wants employers to be able to treat workers like dirt for twice as long. #Osborne
- Antonio Barbaro
http://t.co/heICR1bb this spoof actually isn't far off. worrying.
- Melissa Richards
Govt to extend length of time employers can treat workers like shit | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/T1gNuUH8 via @libcon
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