Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party
contribution by Caroline Holding
Due to successive governments’ refusal to take action against corporate tax evasion, Liberal Conspiracy can reveal that UKuncut is looking to form a parliamentary political party.
Their immediate plans will focus on selecting a candidate for the forthcoming London Mayoral elections.
The campaign group plan to campaign on a variety of issues, ranging from combating rampant neo-liberalism to resisting the complete destruction of all public services.
Journalists will be invited to a press conference at Fortnum and Masons later this week. The theme of the press conference will be “Eat the rich” and each journalist will be given their own pheasant to eat, poached from the Duke of Westminster’s estate.
They will also get 100 special eco-kettles with the UKuncut logo and a photo of the candidate on the side.
Key policies will include:
» Nationalising Top Shop, Barclays Bank, Vodafone and Boots. So these shops can no longer be purely devoted to unscrupulous profit making and instead turned into creative performing art spaces, libraries and crèches.
» Offering free M&S vouchers to undercover police officers so they can look even more out of place on demos than they do already.
» Introducing new environmentally friendly buses and tube trains run on the hot air and bullshit spouted by Cameron, Osborne etc.
» Set up a new kind of tax haven in London where consumers can refuse to pay VAT and other regressive taxes designed to penalise the poorest in society.
» Campaigning to have the Mayday bank holiday will be reinstated with black bloc performing celebratory Morris dances around may poles throughout the country, waving their black bandanas and shaking ammonia filled light bulbs at passers by.
» Outsourcing the royal wedding to China as they can do it much cheaper over there.
» Proposing that people no longer burn effigies of Guy Fawkes on Nov 5th, suggesting that effigies of the economist Milton Friedman be torched instead.
UKuncut say their mayoral candidate will be chosen by consensus, through using hand signals.
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Reader comments
They have my full support.
Seriously.
That kettle idea is genius. Can I have one?
And for a site that warns that “sarcastic or silly comments may be deleted” above you’re comments section, isn’t it a bit cheeky to be running an April Fool story?
And will pointing that out get my comment deleted? (That’s comedic recursion for you…)
Obvious.
At least last year Don Paskini nearly got me with the UKIP/Tim Worstall thing.
Or rather, the “we are now called Labour Conspiracy” thing, which was very funny.
Aww where’s your sense of vacuous tradition Paul?
Oh, btw: How the William and Kate marriage will dissolve the class system forever http://thoughcowardsflinch.com/2011/04/01/class-and-the-left/
April fools, dimwits.
We already don’t burn Guy Fawkes up here on that “almost” day in history. Instead preferring to burn effegies of politicians we hate. Gordon went up in flames last time round to drunken jeers! We’re ahead of you guys on that
Do it. I have never voted in my life (I am 46) – always thought it only encouraged corruption.
But if they form a party, I would sign up and vote.
Is this “initiative” being sponsored by Lord Ashcroft?
Just asking.
What a crap April fools.
@Ukcuts – The joke is on you – it may be a joke but it is a “seriously” good one.
April bloody Fool!
I would vote for them!
Love the Morris dancing idea – has this been put to Black Bloc (sorry Met Police) yet?
Nice diversion for those involved but it will just split the left vote even more and benefit the right.
It’s come to something when a deranged April Fool party sounds more sensible than the real thing!
Is it an April Fool ?
Shocking! And on today of all days!
A better april fools days joke, would be to suggest that they all join the laobur party,
If you have to make an April Fools joke it should be funny.
It’s worrying when satire becomes indistinguishable from reality.
I might actually get a few friends to do the morris dancing thing…
What is their stance on AV?
Reactions: Twitter, blogs
- Liberal Conspiracy
Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- jonathan paige
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Phil Dickens
RT @libcon: Exclusive: #UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN << If true, all my dreams have fucking died.
- Tabz O'Brien
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- Hannah Clayden
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- Mancunian Candidate
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Tentacle Sixteen
Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/p4wyF81 via @romilagupta
- Eval Herz
RT @AKblackandred: RT @libcon: Exclusive: #UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN << If true, all my dreams have …
- sunny hundal
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Dave Wyllie
#UKUncut to become political party, will prop up economy one lost election deposit at a time. – http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Soph
I smiled
Thank you RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN - r@v
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Matthew McGregor
Was about to "d'oh", then I remembered the time difference RT @libcon Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Alice Sheppard
RT @latentexistence: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/p4wyF81 via @romilagupta
- Rory Lawless
RT @journodave: #UKUncut to become political party, will prop up economy one lost election deposit at a time. – http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Double.Karma
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Double.Karma
RT @latentexistence: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/p4wyF81 via @romilagupta
- Stephen Mullen
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- Danny James
@libcon Exclusive: UKuncut to
become a political party
http://t.co/sfMgh6J <<that's an evil April fools joke!
- Queer Resistance
UKuncut to become a political party | Liberal Conspiracy http://fb.me/YFuNjhgv
- Alan Henness
RT @latentexistence: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/p4wyF81 via @romilagupta
- Patrick johnson
RT @journodave: #UKUncut to become political party, will prop up economy one lost election deposit at a time. – http://bit.ly/dLd2iN <~ haha
- Josie and Lori
RT @AKblackandred: RT @libcon: Exclusive: #UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN << If true, all my dreams have …
- copperbird
Liberal conspiracy April Fool: UKUncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/gfgZ8G
- Phoebe M
RT @maddrell: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN beautiful!
- Phoebe M
RT @maddrell: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN beautiful!
- Ben Coleman
Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/E3zsERn via @libcon
- Jon Squires
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- James Webley
http://bit.ly/gfgZ8G Liberal Conspiracy wins so far, because of my blatant and unrepentant bias in favour of UK Uncut…
- Richard Murphy
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN !
- newspyre
rt @richardjmurphy: rt @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN !
- Martin Young
@UKFreeNews Ha, it wasn't a joke! @romilagupta nominated me for Mayor after reading this: http://bit.ly/g4cfKe
- UKFreeNews
RT @RichardJMurphy: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN !
- Brixtonite
RT @RichardJMurphy: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN !
- dmosbon
RT @copperbird: Liberal conspiracy April Fool: UKUncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/gfgZ8G
- Ian Adamson
Last one for now… http://liberalconspiracy.org/2011/04/01/exclusive-ukuncut-to-become-a-political-party/ via @libcon
- Saadaab Janab
Oh I almost fell for it! Damn you for getting my hopes up RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/Vne0SM1 !”
- Tom Ashworth
RT @sophwarnes: I smiled
Thank you RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN - Joan Lawson
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Holly
Ooh, I say! http://liberalconspiracy.org/2011/04/01/exclusive-ukuncut-to-become-a-political-party/
- Average Joe
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Kaisie Rayner
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Liberal Conspiracy
Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Gemma Handford
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Rosa
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- James Hargrave
LibCon report UKUncut to become a political party http://j.mp/hxAJ8r (April fool!)
- Liam Shields
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Patrick Kingsley
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Daniel Knowles
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- annfinster
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
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RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Anon Y Mous
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- emma
RT @RichardJMurphy: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN !
- Sam Jole
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
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RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
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RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Duncan Edwards
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- sparklykate
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Ben Soffa
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/SuYi0EJ <- Selecting Mayoral candidate. Switching my support to them
- Jose Aguiar
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Rob Cole
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Alice Perry
RT @BenSoffa: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/SuYi0EJ <- Selecting Mayoral candidate. Switchin …
- Alice Perry
RT @BenSoffa: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/SuYi0EJ <- Selecting Mayoral candidate. Switchin …
- Scott Macdonald
RT @libcon Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night) >> I know not how I'm going to punish ya..
- Scott Macdonald
RT @libcon Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night) >> I know not how I'm going to punish ya..
- Abi O
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Nicholas Shaxson
RT @RichardJMurphy: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN !
- TeresaMary
Amusing with a sharp edge of 'reality'
) RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night) - ANDREW JENNINGS
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Dave Harris
) RT @libcon Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night) - Leonie Northedge
Definitely my favourite april fool today! RT @libcon Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Dr Eoin Clarke
RT @RichardJMurphy: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN !
- Portia
RT @leonieleonie: Definitely my favourite april fool today! RT @libcon Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Richard Morris
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Ben Little
“RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/liJ5non " bizarrely I'd probably vote for that. #jazzhands
- Zoe Stavri
I, personally, wouldn't vote for this bunch of violent anarchists. http://t.co/pR7XbkL
- David Wilson
RT @RichardJMurphy: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN !
- Niklas Smith
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Dotty Sparkletoes
RT @stavvers: I, personally, wouldn't vote for this bunch of violent anarchists. http://is.gd/kgAStR >>> I thought it woz true
- Rebecca Wilkinson
'UKuncut say their mayoral candidate will be chosen by consensus, through using hand signals'. http://tinyurl.com/4ypb9dt. #aprilfool
- Joe Jordan
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Jennifer O'Mahony
RT @BenLittle: “RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/liJ5non " bizarrely I'd probably vote for that. # …
- bankofcat
RT @RichardJMurphy: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN !
- Deborah Grayson
“@libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/egoRIja (from last night)” let's totally have a candidate for mayor!
- Deborah Grayson
“@libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/egoRIja (from last night)” let's totally have a candidate for mayor!
- Amisha Ghadiali
RT @debdebdubdub: “@libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/egoRIja (from last night)” let's totally have a …
- Amisha Ghadiali
RT @debdebdubdub: “@libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/egoRIja (from last night)” let's totally have a …
- John Symons
@libcon Maybe from last night, but surely an April Fool. Targeting the Mayor of London position rather than the City? http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- John Symons
@libcon Maybe from last night, but surely an April Fool. Targeting the Mayor of London position rather than the City? http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- John Symons
#UKuncut want voting by semaphore and results announced using fire beacons http://bit.ly/dLd2iN via @libcon
- UK Uncut
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Charlotte Richardson
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Simon Lucas
Yeah yeah…// RT @latentexistence: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/p4wyF81 via @romilagupta
- Mr Edd B
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Sam Jones
Ha! – Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/O3u7Ln7 via @libcon
- bobbits
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Phil
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- garry
RT @UKuncut: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Terry
Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/CnvLds6 via @libcon Best April Fool so far?
- Glen Willie
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Rhian Johns
Happy April!! This is fab though! Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party | Liberal Conspiracy http://t.co/NKMYVaP via @libcon
- Lisa Egan
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Esther Nagle
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Katie Miall
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Nemesis Republic
RT @libcon: Exclusive: #UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Craig Brooks
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- James Random
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Savi Foundation
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Savi Foundation
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Ian Tucknott
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Dave Dawes
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/nApUHtd (from last night)
- Esther Foreman
RT @davedawes: RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://t.co/nApUHtd (from last night)
- Nick Talbot
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN Satire becomes indistinguishable from reality.
- Osian Llwyd Jones
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Matthew Bass
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- kateshay
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Lesley
This latest news involves Morris Dancing but not as expected: @libcon Exclusive: @UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- Tenzin™
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Top Politics Tweets
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Staffordshire UNISON
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Guy Fawks
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Lucy Parsons
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- Rachel Hubbard
Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party | Liberal Conspiracy http://goo.gl/lk2L1
- chang mei wan
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN (from last night)
- EcoLabs
Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN @libcon
- EcoLabs
RT @libcon: Exclusive: UKuncut to become a political party http://bit.ly/dLd2iN
- James Leppard
UKuncut to become a political party – How I laughed http://bit.ly/i2OMLn
- Ms C
Oh yes! UK Uncut to turn world upside down in true spirit of All Fools Day (sorry it's a bit late but worth it): http://tinyurl.com/4ypb9dt
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