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A message for Nick Clegg…


3:41 pm - May 7th 2010

by Unity    


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The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright–
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done–
“It’s very rude of him,” she said,
“To come and spoil the fun!”

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead–
There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
“If this were only cleared away,”
They said, “it would be grand!”

“If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year.
Do you suppose,” the Walrus said,
“That they could get it clear?”
“I doubt it,” said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

“O Oysters, come and walk with us!”
The Walrus did beseech.
“A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.”

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head–
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat–
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn’t any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more–
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”

“But wait a bit,” the Oysters cried,
“Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!”
“No hurry!” said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

“A loaf of bread,” the Walrus said,
“Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed–
Now if you’re ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.”

“But not on us!” the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
“After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!”
“The night is fine,” the Walrus said.
“Do you admire the view?

“It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!”
The Carpenter said nothing but
“Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf–
I’ve had to ask you twice!”

“It seems a shame,” the Walrus said,
“To play them such a trick,
After we’ve brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!”
The Carpenter said nothing but
“The butter’s spread too thick!”

“I weep for you,” the Walrus said:
“I deeply sympathize.”
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

“O Oysters,” said the Carpenter,
“You’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?’
But answer came there none–
And this was scarcely odd, because
They’d eaten every one.

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About the author
'Unity' is a regular contributor to Liberal Conspiracy. He also blogs at Ministry of Truth.
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Story Filed Under: Blog ,Elections2010 ,Liberal Conspiracy

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Reader comments


Time for Labour to decide too.

Does it want real change or just the hope it can win again out right. Could be a long time away. 10-15 years if it lets the tories back.

On the other hand if this combo-government is a bit screwed up (it’s bound to be) and Brown resigns and is replaced by someone more palatable we could have a Labour government back quite quickly. The Tories haven’t pulled off a majority after 13 years of Labour, we’re living in interesting times.

OK

Here are my predictions.

Cameron and Clegg will talk but will be unable to deal because Clegg will demand a commitment on electoral reform that Cameron will be unwilling (or unable) to give.

Clegg will then talk to Labour who, being more desperate, will give him what he asks for. As part of the deal, Brown will be replaced by Milliband, Johnson or (God help us) Harman as Prime Minister. Cable will be Chancellor. Cameron will, shortly after, be replaced by Gove.

As international economic pressure increases, the new government will last less than a year and will go before electoral reform can be enacted. The Tories will win the next election by a landslide and will be in power for a generation as both the other parties fragment.

Piers Morgan will ghost write Mandelson’s memoirs and the Browns will emigrate to Chad where they will get involved in charity work.

Anybody fancy £20 on it?

3

It would smack too much of taking sweeties from a toddler…..

It would smack too much of taking sweeties from a toddler…..

What!!!!

Do you think the Browns will go to Mozambique?

If the Tories implement their economic policies they will be damned for another generation. The Lib-Dems, in coalition, would be damned by association.

Even if Call-Me-Dave concedes a referendum on electoral reform his chums in the media would do their damnedest to ensure nothing changes. We have seen what depths they are prepared to plumb over the past weeks. Its a gamble whoever the Lib-Dems form a government with.

Liberals have done very badly out of past coalitions. They need to be very careful. Perhaps they would be better advised not to deal with anybody on anything other than electoral reform. Let there be a minority government that has to deal with other parties on every issue they have to decide and let there be a referendum on electoral reform and afterwads another general election as soon as possible. The markets can wait, this is more important.

Or perhaps simply skip the referendum and put an Electoral Reform Act to Parliament?

8. Mike Killingworth

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head–
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

Now why does that verse remind me of Ming Campbell and/or Paddy Ashdown?

9. Nick Cohen is a Tory

Cameron and Clegg will talk but will be unable to deal because Clegg will demand a commitment on electoral reform that Cameron will be unwilling (or unable) to give.
Could happen .

Clegg will then talk to Labour who, being more desperate, will give him what he asks for. As part of the deal, Brown will be replaced by Milliband, Johnson or (God help us) Harman as Prime Minister. Cable will be Chancellor. Cameron will, shortly after, be replaced by Gove.
Probably, probably, probably, they will stay with Cameron (He’s Ashcroft, Howards and Murdoch’ junior man and they pay the piper) and never GOVE.
He is even uglier than Brown
More likely the return of Davies or even BoJo
Also , Celts don’t get elected as PM

As international economic pressure increases, the new government will last less than a year and will go before electoral reform can be enacted. The Tories will win the next election by a landslide and will be in power for a generation as both the other parties fragment.
You really are clutching at straws, more likely there will be political flux.
Pagar it will never get better for the Tories than the last election.
As Kettle in the Guardian pointed out the present swing was more Cameroonie than Conservative.
Also Labour, will not have Brown,probably the worst Labour leader along with Foot.

Piers Morgan will ghost write Mandelson’s memoirs and the Browns will emigrate to Chad where they will get involved in charity work.
Who will write camerons, Toby Young, David A, Nick Cohen, Jones, Fanshawe
Anybody fancy £20 on it?

re:pagar a prediction? or wish? come on admit it a few months ago you thought dave was going to get a landslide? what happened? lol

nick cohen is a tory. i’ll have 20 quid on toby young , i think nick cohen is probably having a nervous breakdown like a lot of tory supporters

12. Matt Munro

@ 9 “Piers Morgan will ghost write Mandelson’s memoirs and the Browns will emigrate to Chad where they will get involved in charity work.
Who will write camerons, Toby Young, David A, Nick Cohen, Jones, Fanshawe
Anybody fancy £20 on it?”

My money would be on Polly Toynbee or Mel Philips.

Go to Liberal Voice and read the comments section. The Lib Dems are splitting themselves in two over Cameron’s offer. Not sure the Libs can survive as the current party. Many on the right are saying let the left go back to Labour and then they will form a govt with the tories.

The left of course are saying no, do a deal with Labour and get electoral reform now.

Clegg to captain Kirk, “I can’t hold it together much longer captain, it is going to blow.”

I like the way this is going. I’m hoping new policy dividing lines may arise between parties leading to a realingment of UK politics.

15. Nick Cohen is a Tory

Mel P and Gordon, now their is a fly on the wall situation.
Paul
Nick and Martin Bright are blaming the BBC for the Tory premature election.
I blame Nick Robinson and Andrew Neil and those other commie bastards on election night.
Wasn’t Professor Boganor scary or what.

16. Nick Cohen is a Tory

or is that premature erection

17. Charlieman

@8 Mike Killingworth: “Now why does that verse remind me of Ming Campbell and/or Paddy Ashdown?”

But it doesn’t really remind us of much. Both declined to get into bed with New Labour, and Paddy wasn’t offered very much as soon as the 1997 election was in the bag.

Had those two leaders done a deal, the environment around this election would have been entirely different. Where we are today is a consequence of not being swallowed.

Nick Clegg has the fortune to be able to look back at previous bidding wars. He should be able to see gaping mouths.

18. Charlieman

BTW, I hold to my prediction that David Cameron will say something offensive before Monday morning and that the electorate will be appalled.

re nick c tory bogdanor is always strange but tory supporter and rolling stone bill wyman was raving or high or drunk or all 3

re matt munro i don’t think melanie philips has got time to write a biography shes undergoing anger management therapy . has anyone ever seen melanie smile or be happy? she seems permanently bitter

has anyone ever seen melanie smile or be happy? she seems permanently bitter

What on earth does she have to be happy about?

All her doom-mongering about President Obama has fallen flat and her shill Cassandra act has turned out to be based on nothing but slander brought forward by bigots like Andy Martin and J Farah at WorldNutDaily.

All she has left is a defence of the zionists in Israel as they act as inhuman as possible.

22. Stephen Rouse

I like the walrus and carpenter analogy but it’s more like a roadrunner cartoon. Wile E Cameron had just set his ACME electoral reform inquiry trap. Will roadrunner Nick run into it? Beep Beep!

“Will you walk into my parlour?”
Said a spider to a fly;
‘Tis the prettiest little parlour
That ever you did spy.
The way into my parlour
Is up a winding stair,
And I have many pretty things
To show when you are there.”
“Oh, no, no!” said the little fly,
“To ask me is in vain;
For who goes up your winding stair
Can ne’er come down again.”

“I’m sure you must be weary
With soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?”
Said the spider to the fly.
“There are pretty curtains drawn around,
The sheets are fine and thin;
And if you like to rest awhile,
I’ll snugly tuck you in.”
“Oh, no, no!” said the little fly,
“For I’ve often heard it said,
They never, never wake again
Who sleep upon your bed.”

Said the cunning spider to the fly,
“Dear friend, what shall I do
To prove the warm affection
I’ve always felt for you?
I have within my pantry
Good store of all that’s nice;
I’m sure you’re very welcome-
Will you please to take a slice.
“Oh, no, no!” said the little fly,
“Kind sir, that cannot be;
I’ve heard what’s in your pantry,
And I do not wish to see.”

“Sweet creature,” said the spider,
“You’re witty and you’re wise;
How handsome are your gauzy wings,
How brilliant are your eyes.
I ‘have a little looking-glass
Upon my parlour shelf;
If you’ll step in one moment, dear,
You shall behold yourself.”
“I thank you, gentle sir,” she said,
“For what you’re pleased to say,
And bidding you good-morning, now,
I’ll call another day.”

The spider turned him round about,
And went into his den,
For well he knew the silly fly
Would soon be back again;
So he wove a subtle thread
In a little corner sly,
And set his table ready
To dine upon the fly.
He went out to his door again,
And merrily did sing,
“Come hither, hither, pretty fly,
With the pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple,
There’s a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like the diamond bright,
But mine are dull as lead.”

Alas, alas! how very soon
This silly little fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words,
Came slowly flitting by
With buzzing wings she hung aloft,
Then near and nearer drew-
Thought only of her brilliant eyes,
And green and purple hue;
Thought only of her crested head-
Poor foolish thing!
At last Up jumped the cunning spider,
And fiercely held her fast.

He dragged her up his winding stair,
Into his dismal den
Within his little parlour-but
She ne’er came out again!
And now, dear little children
Who may this story read,
To idle, silly, flattering words,
I pray you, ne’er give heed:
Unto an evil counsellor
Close heart and ear and eye,
And learn a lesson from this tale
Of the spider and the fly.

“O Oysters, come and walk with us!”
“Will you walk into my parlour?”

He’s the leader of the 3rd largest party in the UK. I think he’s a wee bit less green than you’re giving him credit for.

@Paul – “i think nick cohen is probably having a nervous breakdown like a lot of tory supporters.” Although I agree that Nick Cohen *sounds* like a Tory he said he was going to vote Labour.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/may/02/nick-cohen-labour-liberal-democrats

26. Mike Killingworth

[24] I agree, Ian, but the bit you’re missing is that after he reluctantly announces that he and Cammo can’t do a deal after all – and Brown decides that he doesn’t want to have to depend on Jeremy Corbyn’s support – Cameron is able to form a minority government having made very clear that it’s a second best option.

If Clegg says yes, he destroys his Party. If he says no, he will be savaged by all the Tory media till the cows come home.

Meantime the Tories try to identify and pick off defectors…

27. Nick Cohen is a Tory

Sarah AB
Cohen is a giant fibber.
Give me one example of a pro labour statement in that piece.
he evens defends Ashcroft.
It was mainly anti lib dem because it was aimed to try to reduce lib dem votes who were the major threat to his Tory friends.
Sarah, Cohen has only written that piece so he can say in the future “This Tory government is doing the correct thing and I am a labour voter”.
He is a charlatan of the first order.
Give me one difference between nasty Nick and say Gove.

Who is Nick Cohen? And why should I care?

Sounds like another dishonest tory. So many of them about these days.


Reactions: Twitter, blogs
  1. Unity

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  2. Margaret Nelson

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  4. Dave Harris

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  5. Follow Witness 69

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  6. Lovely Horse

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  7. Luke Homer

    RT @libcon's "A message for Nick Clegg" http://bit.ly/94XUuN Unity, you are truly a genius 🙂

  8. Andy Larkin

    RT @Unity_MoT: RT @libcon: A message for Nick Clegg… http://bit.ly/cSV77i #justsaynonick

  9. luther

    Brilliant post from @libcon earlier: A message for Nick Clegg… http://bit.ly/cSV77i #DontDoitNick

  10. Liberal Conspiracy

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  11. anthony rigby

    RT @libcon: A message for Nick Clegg… http://bit.ly/cSV77i

  12. Unity

    RT @libcon: A message for Nick Clegg… http://bit.ly/cSV77i – with grateful thanks to Lewis Carroll

  13. Herm Baskerville

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  14. luther

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  15. Tim Ireland

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  16. CathElliott

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  18. Cheesy Monkey

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  19. Pete Jordan

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  20. mac jordan

    RT @perlmonger: RT @Unity_MoT: RT @libcon: A message for Nick Clegg… http://bit.ly/cSV77i #justsaynonick

  21. Chris Kendall

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    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tim Ireland, CathElliott, Liberal Conspiracy, mac jordan, Margaret Nelson and others. Margaret Nelson said: RT @CathElliott: RT @libcon: A message for Nick Clegg… http://bit.ly/cZ0Rez […]

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