I want one…

Manchester population: about 460k

People asking about ID cards: 8000

i.e. 1.7%

no indication of what they asked; e.g. “when are they being introduced / under what circumstances / so I can get my family out of this town?”

Or perhaps the classic query:

“What is an ID card?”

Only 8,000 people in Manchester have enquired about ID cards in Manchester following a trial in the city, the Manchester Evening News reports.

And they all have the same address (arf)

Only 8000 enquiries comprising 1.7% of the population of Manchester eh?

That’s heartening; there are clearly not as many Labour supporting idiots in Manchester as the corrupt, repressive, authoritarian Labour Party would have us believe.

If Labour can’t even get support in their most tribal of territories, then it starts to look like an electoral wipe out across the country come election night.

Praise be!

The only biometric data I intend to carry is my face.

But how could the Government recognise you with your shattered face… hahaha… ahem… oh dear

Tatoo biometric data on our faces or buttocks or penises as required.

Remember the Solly Neasden book in which a naked prisoner is asked what is tatooed on his willy and he says, “Well, Comrade, You can’t read it now but it says Krushchev … but it needs a little Furtseyeva to warm it up” and one has to know that at that time Madame Furtseyeva was the Soviet Minister of Culture.

Who were the enquirers?

All called Ali Mohammed Abdullah or Mohammed Ali Abdullah or Abdullah Ali Mohammed and all living in a basement Al Qaeda cell / bomb factory?

“Yes, officer. I am want ID and airside pass, isn’t it!”