Richard Desmond, philanthropist, pornographer, adherent of Godwin’s Law, and Great Architect of The Daily Express was jubilant last night after spending a jolly few weeks socking it to silly biographers in the High Court.

Desmond, once described as ‘an appalling man’ by Britain’s most appalling man, told his own newspaper: “It was worth it to stand up in court and set the record straight”, apparently unaware that he’d actually lost the case.

A source said: “Won, lost, Rich doesn’t care about details. He enjoyed the banter in court and wasted a lot of Bower’s time and money. He’s happy.”

In an exclusive interview, The Express reported their commander-in-chief to be ’satisfied’ that the three weeks of legal posturing had come to an end. Desmond, a close friend of Mr. Burns, is understood to be delighted with the minuscule £1.25m costs involved in trying to scare a man he didn’t like with Britain’s fine libel laws.

The newspaper baron also revealed that the case had been brought largely because he didn’t like the thought of uppity writers disrespecting him, not because he actually cared what had been written on page 337 of a book about someone else.

“[Tom Bower's] biggest mistake was in thinking I would not go to court,” Desmond growled in his best Vito Corleone impersonation, before muttering something about horses’ heads and Conrad Black.

He is thought to be “totally over” pursuing personal vendettas by printing libellous articles about enemies in his newspapers, and is looking forward to settling all future disagreements in the finely upholstered environs of High Court instead.

1. Liberal Conspiracy
   

   Article: Richard Desmond happy with High Court win http://bit.ly/168tKX

2. Tim Ireland
   

   RT @libcon Article: Richard Desmond happy with High Court win http://bit.ly/168tKX

3. anotherwhitemug.com
   

   Liberal Conspiracy » Richard Desmond happy with High Court win- The BNP’s lies in Norwich North by Cath Elliot… http://bit.ly/C9Jfk

   [Original tweet]

4. Sunder Katwala
   

   V.funny Express ‘paper of record’ coverage of Desmond libel defeat http://tiny.cc/PJnTN hat tip Jamie Sport http://tiny.cc/wOXzO

   [Original tweet]

5. Liberal Conspiracy
   

   Article: Richard Desmond happy with High Court win http://bit.ly/168tKX

   [Original tweet]

6. Tim Ireland
   

   RT @libcon Article: Richard Desmond happy with High Court win http://bit.ly/168tKX

   [Original tweet]

7. anotherwhitemug.com
   

   Liberal Conspiracy » Richard Desmond happy with High Court win- The BNP’s lies in Norwich North by Cath Elliot… http://bit.ly/C9Jfk

   [Original tweet]