I never did quite see it myself, but I am told there are those who find Margaret Thatcher sexually alluring. Jonathan Ross famously suggested that David Cameron was one of them, when he inquired as to whether visions of the former prime minister had fuelled the Tory leader’s imagination during a certain act of rite de passage typical of the adolescent male.
Then there was Alan Clark – a keen amateur swordsman, by all accounts – who maintains in his diaries that Thatch used to act ‘almost coquettishly’ in male company, and adds:

But goodness, she is so beautiful; made up to the nines of course, for the television programme, but still quite bewitching, as Eva Peron must have been. I could not take my eyes off her …

Those who share his opinion are presumably the target market for a fetching and extremely kitsch novelty item, the Margaret Thatcher nutcracker, illustrated above. Yes, it is as gross as it looks, as the advertising blurb makes plain. Many on the left will find the obvious Freudian symbolism most disturbing:

Insert a nut up her skirt, squeeze her legs together and hey presto – your nut is cracked.

Obviously a hot item at just £9.99, and a sure-fire investment for collectors of political memorabilia, but not quite what I‘m hoping to find in my stocking next Thursday. What will they think of next? The Charles Kennedy combination corkscrew and bottle-opener can only be a matter of time.
Other suggestions in the comments box, please.